getting clocked as someone with PTSD sucks.

recently bought machine screws...and uh. I made people nervous because I'm flat emotionally. Made me a bit sad.

yeah. i think that's it.

OH, right.

i wish the world had...

well.

Profit motive. There is a profit motive to addict you.

There is a profit motive to arrest you.

There is a sick game that we all play with one another.

For-profit prisons.

For-profit...shopping addictions?

Hijacking the hunter-gatherer impulses to sell you more crap. More pointless uh. I don't know.

Yeah. I'm sick of this. I'm going to work on Meowderall now.

(10 min pass)

Right, so...

Like. Retail theft.

Growing up black, on the south side of Chicago.

Your life could be haunted in some way by the spectre of slavery, constantly reminded by richer americans that you have been born into a generation of children that have materially harder lives, and...well,

You decide to go up north to the city - Downtown Chicago...

How are you supposed to feel when OH! Right.

Myself as Henry Post. I have some trauma. It embeds itself into my body.

https://geometriclullaby.bandcamp.com/album/swallowed-into-the-abyss

People can tell. I'm cold. I avoid eye contact. Etc. (This all changes depending on how I feel that day.)

The same thing, except for a middle-to-lower class black youth, travelling up to the gigantic concrete blocks that sit in the wealthiest neighborhoods in downtown Chicago.

Of course retail theft happens. I'd be pissed as a kid. It's a...It's not fair.

well. I'm not a social worker or a therapist.

It just makes me sad. that the new quantum campus will probably not... well.

will it actually benefit the black people that live on the south side?

or will it just leech social and financial resources from the area until...

...

Is speaking my mind about the twisted state of race relations in America going to cost me my job?

Will it motivate social butterflies richer, smarter, more fearsome than me, to try to harm me?

have I stopped caring about holding my emotions inside?

whatever. I'm going to commit and push these ideas to the external world.

I think my writing is worth something.

If you're reading this,

...